Anyone have a good joke or a funny to share?
May I start the ball rolling,
Subject: 4 jokes
(1)
> A Digger stationed in Baghdad recently received a "Dear John"
letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
>
> Dear Ricky,
>
> I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
> just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
> you've been
> gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the
> picture of me that I sent to you.
>
> Love, Becky
>
>
>
> The Digger, with hurt feelings, asked his mates for any
> snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters,
> ex-girlfriends, aunts,
> cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all
the
> other pictures of the pretty girls he had collected from his mates.
> There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:
>
> Dear Becky,
>
> I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your
> picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
>
> Take Care, Ricky
(2)
>>- > > >A man and a woman who have never met before find
>>themselves in the
>> > > > >same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial
>> > > > >embarrassment,
>> > > > >they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bu-nk,
>> > > > the
>>man
>> >
>> > > > >on the lower.In the middle of the night, the woman leans over
>> > > > >and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I
>> > > > >was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
>> > > > >The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye,says, "I've got
>> > > > >better idea.....let's pretend we're married." "Why not," giggles
>> > > > >the woman. "Good", he replies. "Get your own f***ing blanket."
(3)
>> > > > >One afternoon a little girl returned from school, and announced
>>that
>> > > > >her friend had told her where babies come from.
>> > > > >Amused, her mother replied: "Really, sweetie, why don't you tell
>>
>> > > > >me all about it?" The little girl explained, "Well... OK... the
>>
>> > > > >Mummy and Daddy take
>> > off
>> > > > >all of their clothes, and the Daddy's thingee sort of stands up,
>>and
>> > > > >then Mummy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes,
>> > > > and
>> > > > >that's how you get babies. "
>> > > > >Her mum shook her head, leaned over to meet her, eye to eye and
>>said,
>> > > > >"Oh, Darling, that's sweet, but that's not how you get babies.
>>That's
>> > > > >how you get jewellery!"
(4)
>> > > > >Four men went golfing one day. Once on the course, three of them
>>
>> > > > >headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse
>> > > > >to
>> > take
>> > > > >care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about
>>their
>> > > > >sons.
>> > > > >The first man told the others, "My son is a homebuilder and he
>> > > > >is
>>so
>> > > > >successful that he gave a friend a new home for free." The
>> > > > >second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a
>> > > > >multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend
>> > > > >a
>>new
>> > > > >Mercedes, with all the extras."
>> > > > >The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a
>> > > > >stockbroker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an
>> > > > >entire stock portfolio."
>> > > > >The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of
>> > > > >taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We are just
>> > > > >talking
>>about
>> > our
>> > > > >sons. How is yours doing?"
>> > > > >The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay
>> > > > >bar." The three friends looked down at the grass and sniggered.
>>The
>> > fourth
>> > > > >man carried on, "Admittedly I'm not totally thrilled about the
>> > dancing
>> > > > >job, but he must be doing pretty good. His last three boyfriends
>>gave
>> > > > >him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio. . ."
pretty lame hay!
cheers, bejay.
May I start the ball rolling,
Subject: 4 jokes
(1)
> A Digger stationed in Baghdad recently received a "Dear John"
letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
>
> Dear Ricky,
>
> I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
> just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
> you've been
> gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the
> picture of me that I sent to you.
>
> Love, Becky
>
>
>
> The Digger, with hurt feelings, asked his mates for any
> snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters,
> ex-girlfriends, aunts,
> cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all
the
> other pictures of the pretty girls he had collected from his mates.
> There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:
>
> Dear Becky,
>
> I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your
> picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
>
> Take Care, Ricky
(2)
>>- > > >A man and a woman who have never met before find
>>themselves in the
>> > > > >same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial
>> > > > >embarrassment,
>> > > > >they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bu-nk,
>> > > > the
>>man
>> >
>> > > > >on the lower.In the middle of the night, the woman leans over
>> > > > >and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I
>> > > > >was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
>> > > > >The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye,says, "I've got
>> > > > >better idea.....let's pretend we're married." "Why not," giggles
>> > > > >the woman. "Good", he replies. "Get your own f***ing blanket."
(3)
>> > > > >One afternoon a little girl returned from school, and announced
>>that
>> > > > >her friend had told her where babies come from.
>> > > > >Amused, her mother replied: "Really, sweetie, why don't you tell
>>
>> > > > >me all about it?" The little girl explained, "Well... OK... the
>>
>> > > > >Mummy and Daddy take
>> > off
>> > > > >all of their clothes, and the Daddy's thingee sort of stands up,
>>and
>> > > > >then Mummy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes,
>> > > > and
>> > > > >that's how you get babies. "
>> > > > >Her mum shook her head, leaned over to meet her, eye to eye and
>>said,
>> > > > >"Oh, Darling, that's sweet, but that's not how you get babies.
>>That's
>> > > > >how you get jewellery!"
(4)
>> > > > >Four men went golfing one day. Once on the course, three of them
>>
>> > > > >headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse
>> > > > >to
>> > take
>> > > > >care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about
>>their
>> > > > >sons.
>> > > > >The first man told the others, "My son is a homebuilder and he
>> > > > >is
>>so
>> > > > >successful that he gave a friend a new home for free." The
>> > > > >second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a
>> > > > >multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend
>> > > > >a
>>new
>> > > > >Mercedes, with all the extras."
>> > > > >The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a
>> > > > >stockbroker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an
>> > > > >entire stock portfolio."
>> > > > >The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of
>> > > > >taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We are just
>> > > > >talking
>>about
>> > our
>> > > > >sons. How is yours doing?"
>> > > > >The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay
>> > > > >bar." The three friends looked down at the grass and sniggered.
>>The
>> > fourth
>> > > > >man carried on, "Admittedly I'm not totally thrilled about the
>> > dancing
>> > > > >job, but he must be doing pretty good. His last three boyfriends
>>gave
>> > > > >him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio. . ."
pretty lame hay!
cheers, bejay.
