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Well, it was the ironbutt ride from hell....!!!! I was doing so well, apart from a couple of hickups

Actually, despite leaving my maps behind, and the GPS running flat, I was doing pretty good. I knew my route, and two alternative routes just in case, as well as everywhere along the way that had 24hr fuel. I also knew where not to stop, having driven through some of those roads years ago (and grown up in a town rather like Wilcannia )

So I was rocketing along, just passed the pain barrier a couple of hundred ks before and it was starting to get easy. I had clocked up a bit over 1200ks in 13 hours, was 100ks east of Wilcannia. I had just had some of the nicest open sweepers that I have ridden in a while, and was having a hoot. Cruising along at about the 140 mark (one of the slower vehicles on the road that day ) when I feel a buzzing start which quickly got louder...Uh oh, I know what that is, hit the clutch just before it went bang, rolled to a stop with the engine still turning but making a lot of racket. As I stop I get surrounded in a cloud of white smoke.

Sure enough, close inspection shows what I feared - a bottom end failure. Normally you can't see that from the outside, but when a conrod has failed and smashed a hole through the front of the engine, then hot oil hit the exhaust, causing the cloud of smoke. Terminal, she ain't goin' nowhere!!!

Waved over the first ute heading past, he comes back and helps me load up in the back, as he is heading back to Broken Hill. To make it even better, his sister and brother-in-law own the local Yamaha dealership in Broken Hill, so off we went. Heading into Wilcannia, the local indigenous population decided that they were going to barricade the only bridge through town to make a few dollars out of the passing traffic. We barrelled through them, pulled up a little bit up the road to check the ropes holding the bike, and watched the local cops heading in with lights and sirens to move them on. Good to see.

Arrive in Broken Hill, basically there is nothing that can be done at the dealer, which I knew already. They have found a courier which can take the bike back the next week to Mildura for a cheap price, so that is a start. In the mean time, it has somewhere safe to stay, which is a bonus.

After many calls backwards and forwards to Brig, we work out that if I can get to Mildura, I can hop on a plane home. Cheapest and easiest option, as the only bus/train route would have taken 38 hours continual travel! So I booked on to a pub for the night, and hit the local bars to ask around if anyone knew anyone going to Mildura the next morning. This was my biggest stroke of luck - that weekend there was a huge bike rally just outside of town, and there were Ulysses members everywhere. Talk to a couple of them, they spread out and before you knew it, I was talking to a bloke who was riding back the next morning to Mldura.

Bright and early the next day, I'm there to jump on the back of a Honda Valkyrie. For those that don't know, it is a cruiser version of a Goldwing, and pretty spacious accommodation if you have to spend 270kms on the back of a bike. We rolled into Mildura, was dropped off at the airport with 2 ½ hours to spare and would you believe it, not a single person in sight. The terminal had no staff whatsoever, turns out that they only arrive an hour before a flight is due to leave (only twice a day). So I had a couple of hours to kill, nowhere to get a drink or lunch, but I was just happy to be on my way.

After a bumpy flight in a little turboprop Saab, we arrived in Melbourne, bus into the city to be picked up by a mate. My biggest thanks to Brig for organising everything that she could from afar, and being supportive and calm throughout a difficult little time. Special thanks to Lindon for picking me up with the ute, and Gary for the ride on his Valk.

As for the bike, it will come home on the back of a trailer when I have the time to go get it. Reasons for failure are not quite sure, but I do know that it had a very thorough going over and service in the weeks leading up to the ride. Even down to a shakedown 2000k ride where it performed faultlessly. I met one bloke who used to race R1's of the same generation, who was certain that he knew what the problem was. Apparently if they ever run on their side after an accident or falling over, they do severe bottom end bearing damage, which is often not picked up without a strip down for inspection. This bloke said that he had 2 engine failures under the same circumstances, and would have had a third had he not had the engine stripped down and found the damage. May well be, I'm not sure but I have no other plausible explanation as yet.....will post up more info as it is discovered. At minimum I will now be looking for a replacement engine, as it is not economical to repair this one.

One day I will make it to a FarRide